[x]

Hetalia- Free Hugs                Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
                Japan slapped a hand on his alarm clock. It was six in the morning; time for school. He dragged himself off of him bed on the floor. Going to his closet, he pulled out his academy uniform and pulled it on. He could hear the bumping of Taiwan and Vietnam running around to get ready for school. With his uniform on and his bag ready, he stepped out of his room. At that moment, Korea zipped by with Taiwan following him.
                “Give me back my hair clip!” She cried.
                “Ha ha ha ha ha ha,” Korea cackled.

Hetalia- MochiItaly petted the soft white ball that looked like him.

"Ve," he sighed happily.

"Ve," MochiItaly replied.

"Isn't it great that Spain now has a daycare for mochis Germany?" Italy asked his companion.

Germany huffed. MochiGermany did the same.

"I was going to use him for a paperweight but I guess these things need to interact with their own kind," Germany said.

"Indeed," MochiGermany shouted.

They turned to their left to where the daycare was. Germany held open the door while Italy rushed in.

"Thank you for taking care of these things Big brother!" Italy cried.

Spain looked up from his morning paper and smiled. MochiSpain was sitting o

China's Haircut"...I wonder what everyone will say about my new look, aru..." China said as he began to walk to the next G8 meeting. "...Hopefully it won't be too surprising..."

When China finally got to the G8 meeting, America, England, France, and a few others were already there. "I'm here, aru!" said China as he walked through the door and sat down.

Everyone stared at China in amazement. "...What's wrong, aru? Is there something on my face?" China asked as he noticed everyone's staring. No one answered...except for America of course.

"DUDE! YOU TOTALLY GOT A HAIR CUT!" The hyper American yelled as he pointed out the obvious. "Oh...Yeah, I did...Does i

Crack-Talia: RUSSIA HAS A MUSTACHESO ONE DAY, TACO THE AUTHOR WAS IN A PEDO BEAR SUIT ON HER UNCHARTED PLANET OF TACONONONONONOIA~! SHE WAS HAVING HER WEEKLY GERMAN SPARKLE PARTY WITH RUSSIA, FRANCE, AND ANY OTHER DAMN CHARACTERS SHE ABDUCTED IN HER DONUT SPACE SHIP. "HAY GUYS" TACO SAID BEFORE FRANCE TURNED INTO A HOT DOG AND ATE HIMSELF. "WHAT IS IT TACO?!" TACO'S FRIEND THE MINI RUSSIA IN HER HEAD ASKED. "IM GONNA WRITE A FUCKING CRACK" SO TACO RODE HER DOUBLE RAINBOW SLIDE DOWN TO HER COMPUTER AND THEN THIS HORRIBLE STORY CAME TO BE
~~
SO, ONE DAY AMERICA WAS DANCING IN A DOMINATRIX SUIT ON TOP OF MOUNT EVEREST UNTIL CHINA FLEW IN FROM HIS TRIP BACK FROM MARS. "HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIII AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" "HEY CHINASUIDBIDUFBNSDLIFBNSIDLFBSD!!!!" AMERICA YELLED BANGING CHINA
SO HARD
THEN MOUNT EVEREST TURNED INTO A GIANT GERMANY WHO ATE THEM BOTH AND THEN BANGED THE OTHER MOUNTAINS
SO HARD
THEN DENMARK ATE A PIE AND TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE FOR NO REASON. "OWWWWWWWW

Shower Choir PrussiaxReader

I had just gotten back from playing (sport) and I was heading to the bathroom to take a shower. What? I don't give a care if it's half past five, I'm gross and disgusting so I'm gonna take a shower. Remembering my date with my, ahem, awesome Prussian boyfriend, I grab a (color) blouse, and (pants/skirt/idk X3) and walked through the bathroom door. Apparently, my shower went on longer than I had expected.

~~Gilbirt's P.O.V.~~

It was about 6:00 and time for my awesome date with my awesome girlfriend, (Name). I pulled up to her house and let the awesome me in. (She always leaves the door open when she knows I'm coming over.)

"(Name)? Th

CrackTalia: THE PASTA IS A LIEItaly was dancing with his ass on fire in space for no apparent reason when for some reason germany appeared out of nowhere on a narwhal "HEY SEXY" "HAI GERMANAHEFOIDNGSDOFNSDOIFN!!!" italy then smacked germany's ass making a 'dat ass' face "NICE"
Then sweeden entered the room sitting on top of a enormus hat and carrying a teeny weeny finland in his MAN PURSE "PEANUT BUTTER MAKES ME HORNY" then finland got out of sweeden's MAN PURSE and jumped into sweedens pants "ME GUSTA" suddenly china explodeded sweeden's balls "FFFF-" "I LIKE CHEESE" then china had boobs and procedded to squeeze them kinkishly
meanwhile Russia was doing spaztic cartwheels while England watched. "HEY RUSSIA" "DA?" "YOUR A SEXY BITCH" then england stabbed france with a spork "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR IGGY WIGGY!?" "BECAUSE YOU'RE SEXY" then france was raped by canada for no apparent reason
Then cuba ate a potato chip that transported him to croatia "WTF!?" "WELCOME TO CROATIA HOME OF THE SEXY LLAMAS" croatia yelle

Iceland x Fridge: forbidden love

Iceland was alone in his home. There was a breeze coming in through the open window in his kitchen, sending shivers down his spine and causing his brown jacket to flutter in the breeze, like a delicate plastic bag caught in an updraft.

aw shit it's getting poetic up in here.

Iceland walked towards the kitchen, enjoying the sound of his lace up boots against his wooden floors. The sound echoed through the whole house, reminding him of the emptiness. He pushed the thought away.

He stood at the window, looking out at his Icelandic manscape landscape, full of mountains and valleys and lots of....other big things. He pulled the window shut with

Pruss x Reader You Know You're Too Drunk When...[ Prussia (Gilbert) - Himaruya Hidekaz
Iris - Iris
Milton - Milton
You - You ]

You Know You're Too Drunk When... you try to crowd surf

So you're chilling with your friends Iris and Milton at a bar. Iris had gotten a little too drunk and then suddenly started yelling.

"Yeah! Do it, I dare you!"

You looked up at the counter in the direction she was yelling to see a very intoxicated albino dancing. You would have been very embarrassed if you were him. He started singing a medley of random songs.

"Put the lime in the coconut and mix it all up then you drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's hot with the lemon pepper wangs and a freeze cu

Werewolf!Italy x Vampire!Reader Love After Life~ 3Love After Life- 3
Werewolf!Italy x Vampire!Reader

*____*____*

   "Vhat zhe hell?! Bruder, vhat are you doing?"

   The voice of your savior. It thundered through the trees with such authority, enough to make even the most cocky underling quake in his boots. It shook your very core, and evidently did the same to Gilbert. You felt his grip loosen around your neck, but it still remained like a titanium collar.

   "O-oh, Ludvig. You're back already..." You could tell from Gilbert's voice crack that he was intimidated by this individual. Ludwig, was his name. You were still scared out of your wi

Smoke and Mirrors (Chapter 2)England did what any sensible man would do in the current situation. He backed away from the grinning psycho with the knife. His back hit the marble counter and, while keeping his eyes locked on Artie (who had rose from the chair and was staring him down, knife in hand), reached blindly around on the counter behind him for anything he could use as a weapon. His hand wrapped around what he hoped was the handle of a knife as the madman grinned like a shark, approaching England now. England swallowed and suddenly Artie ran towards him at full speed knife poised to implant itself into England's frantically beating heart. Acting quickly, England p

Smoke and Mirrors (Chapter 1)Arthur Kirkland, also known as England had no idea just what he was in for. He had just retired early after getting home from a meeting of countries, which had stressed him to end. He was awoken that night, however, by a phone ringing loudly in the house. He grumbled and sat up, scratching the back of his blonde hair tiredly, and mumbling about showing that "frog" just what he was made of. England hesitantly got out of bed and began to walk through his large house, not really rushing to reach the phone. It's probably one of America's prank calls again… He walked down the stairs and into the well-kept kitchen he didn't use very much any

The Empire: ProlougeShe.
She walked down the dusty roads of a waste land. These roads were her home for the last 10 years after he gained power...She looked up at the sun, squinting as it was slightly covered by clouds of dust and debris. "and to think this world was nicer before..." she looked to the crumbling buildings on her left, and some poor rebel like her getting caught by guards on her right. She may have sounded like a normal young woman, but she was a Rebel. She rebeled against them so many times, she had bounty hunters on her constantly that she could just brush off like the dust on the ground. With a reward of 469,000 on your head, life isn't peaches and cream.
She felt the unbearable hunger in her stomach once again. she couldn't even remember the last time she'd eaten. she was able to get some water, but not a lot. between the unbearable heat and the lack of clean water, she didn't know how she was still standing. A once strong woman, reduced to bones.
Her name, was Ziriana Ellanzi. She live

Vamp!PrussiaXReader: Lost in Blood II"We'll need something to know we are heading for the stream here."
"Hmmm, well I can't go home with another torn dress again. Mother will kill me!"
"Then we'll use something else."
"Like what?"
"That rock over there, we'll prop it against this tree."
"That thing is huge! Do you think we can push it over there?"
"With someone this awesome, hell yeah!"
"Gil! Ha ha ha! It doesn't matter how strong you are…oh let me help."
"You? Help?"
"A second person will add more power. Push Gil!"
"I'm trying ___!"
"Phew!"
"Alright, now for the finishing touches."
"What are you craving into it?"
"A bird."
"Why a bird?"
"Because it'll conf

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Y.O.U.You are more precious then gold.
You shine like the sun
You Make my world so much different
You stand out from the crowd
You never say goodbye
You stand unafraid.
You never give in
You listen to me when I complain.
You hold your head high in times of hardship
You send me virtual hugs on my phone
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You worry me to the very bone marrow
You always say "Oh gosh" with a giggle
You you make me smile
Over every obstacle
Oh a ways we have come together!
Over love and hate
Oh how you make me worry!
Over hate and death
Over coming losses
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Oh how I love you so!
Until the stars fall from the sky
Until the devil cries
Until the day I die
Y O U will be you
And I love you.

Hetalia: A Christmas CarolThe snow flew down it swirls and patterns of white. It was Christmas eve and the streets of Vienna were bustling with busy shoppers and excited children. A man was just leaving his home for his job before he bumped into a more upbeat young man by the Name of Toris "Oh! Sorry about that sir! May you have a merry Christmas!" The other stared at him, the cold wind blew his dark-colored mariazell as he pushed his glasses up. "Bah Humbug!" he shoved past the young man who looked over in slight confusion.This man was known as Roderich Edelstein.
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She praises those who are familiar with her sisters, wealth and fame.
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She makes the brave and strong into the poor and lame with her silver tongue.
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Crack-Talia: ROMANO AND THE ARMY OF NARWHALSSpecial thanks to :iconthe-southern-italian: for giving me this idea
LOVE YOU ROMA
--
THIS IS ROMANO
HE IS 8569596 NANO-METERS TALL
HE WEIGHS 6874684684 MILLIGRAMS
AND HE IS 37536262073408 YEARS OLD
ONE DAY, HE DECIDED TO GO VISIT A STRIP BAR WHERE RUSSIA WAS GIVING THE AUTHOR A LAP DANCE AND BELARUS WAS GETTING BUTTFUCKED MY LITHUANIA
SO HARD
AND SUDDENLY! GERMANY CAME ON STAGE IN A SLUTTY COWBOY OUTFIT. IT WAS SO SLUTTY EVERYONE'S EYES EXPLODED AND FLEW TO THE SUNSET WHERE THEY KILLED ICELAND AND BUTTFUCKED HIS CORPSE
SO HARD
SO WHEN CANADA TOOK THE STAGE, ROMANO YELLED "WHY DID GERMANY LEAVE!? THE STAGE IS EMPTY!" AND CANADA CRIED RAINBOWS OF SPARKLES AND KITTENZ WHILST GILBIRD AND PIERRE BANGED IN THE CORNER...SLOWLY
SO HARD
AND THEN, ROMANO FLEW OUT THE DOOR VIA A TIDAL WAVE FROM NOWHERE AS THE WORLDS POPULATION OF PANDAS FOLLOWED IN AWE, AND THEN, NARWHALS APPEARED IN THE NOW RAVER COLORED TIDAL WAVE WITH SPARKLES OF LUST

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The Death Of Arthur Kirkland and Alfred Jones?</b>Part 12</b>
~~
SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT!!! i got lazy... X.X
~~
The first rays of sunlight gently poured into the room from the blinds. England grunted softly and opened his eyes to see Ziriana was still in his arms. He smiled seeing her eyes peer open and look up at him "O-Oh, good morning Arthur..."
"Morning love. Feel like seeing Alfred today?"
Ziriana thought a moment. "Nah..."
England was confused. "Why? You've been so worried about him..."
"I know, but I think he can survive one day without me" she giggled.
"Okay love"
"Besides..." Ziriana looked over at him "I want to spend time with zu~" England blushed "R-Really?" he tried to get up but winced in pain "O-Ow..."
"That's also why, zhur in pain!" she helped him up with ease. "I guess we can stay for now..." England said softly.
~~
A few nights later, Ziriana heard the phone ring. "Allo?"
"ZIRI! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!?" Alfred voice yelled from the phone.
"Taking care of Angleterre! How have you been?"
"I made a go

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Submitted: July 1, 2012
Submitted with: Sta.sh Writer

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[x]

CR-Axis (crak-SIS):SEXY FUN TIMES WITH HORNY JAPAN

by *XEPICTACOSx, Jul 1, 2012, 12:16:25 PM
Literature / Prose / Fiction / Children and Teen / Short Stories

SO, LIKE ONE ITALY GERMANY AND JAPAN WERE BREAKDANCING IN THE BACK OF A CAR AS THE AURTHOR AND RUSSIA BECAME ONE IN THE FRONT

SO HARD

THEN ITALY SUDDENLY YELLED "OMG LETS GO DANCE ON THE MOON!!!" THEN RANDOMLY THE THREE FOUND THEMSELVES ON SOME RANDOM PLANET THAT WAS TACOS SECRET HIDEOUT CALLED 'TACONONONONOIONONONONIA~!' THEN JAPAN RODE AROUND ON A LLAMA WITH HIS PENIS ON FIRE THEN ATE 78924 TACOS THAT HE THEN SHIT OUT AND THEN TURNED INTO 78924 GIANT COOKIES THAT GERMANY ATE THEN FARTED A SHITLOAD. JAPAN THEN BECAME EPICLY HORNY. "IMA GO BANG EUROPE" THEN JAPAN RAN DOWN TO EARTH VIA MINIATURE LLAMA WHICH HE BANGED

SO HARD

ONE DAY ENGLAND WAS WALZTING AROUND IN HIS FUKING PINK APOCALYPSE OF A FUKIN PINK DRESS AND SINGING A BRITNEY SPEARS SONG UNTIL JAPAN EXPLODED INTO THE ROOM AND BANGED THE EXPLOSION.

SO HARD

AND ENGLAND THEN ATE THE EXPLOSION THAT HE FARTED OUT THEN WAS RHAPED BY JAPAN.

SO HARD

THEN FRANCE WAS IN A FUCKING GERMAN SPARKLE PARTY WITH HIS FUCKING PARTY PANTZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ THEN JAPAN RAN INTO THE ROOM AND HUMPED HIS PARTY PANTS

SO HARD

AND FRANCE DIDNT NOTICE AS HE TOOK AN EPIC SHIT THEN BANGED CANADA

SO HARD

WHO WAS ALSO RHAPED BY JAPAN

SO HARD

THEN AUSTRIA WAS BANGING PRUSSIA

SO HARD

THEN JAPAN RAN IN WEARING NOTHING BUT A DRESS MADE ENTIRELY OF FRUIT AND SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT THEN HE JOINED THE AUSPRUFEST AND BANGED EM BOTH

SO HARD

THEN RUSSIA WAS WANDERING THE FLAMING PITS OF HELL AND DICKS BEFORE JAPAN SHOWED UP IN A FUCKING APOCALYPSE OF A LOLITA DRESS "HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY RUSIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" "...PRIVEJT" THEN RUSSIA ATE A RANDOM COOKIE THEN JAPAN BANGED RUSSIA

SO HARD

BUT BEFORE JAPAN COULD BANG RUSSIA

SO HARD

TACO THE AUTHOR KILLED JAPAN "HANDS OFFA MY BITCH YOU BITCH!!!" THEN JAPAN'S GHOST RHAPED HIS OWN CARASS

SO HARD

THEN TACO AND RUSSIA FLEW BACK TO 'TACONONONONOIONONONONIA~!' THEN HUMPED...

SO HARD

AND WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE REST OF THE FUCKING CR-AXIS!?

ITALY VENTURED ON TO BE A SUCSESSFUL POLE DANCER FOR THE ITALY FANGIRLS, THEN WAS EATEN BY A LLAMA

GERMANY WENT ON TO KILL JUSTIN BIEBER, REBECCA BLACK, AND ANY VAINS OF HIS EXISTANCE

AND THEN AMERICA RHAPED THE WORLD

SO HARD

INCLUDING YOU...

...HE'S BANGING YOU RIGHT NOW

SO HARD

YOU JUST DON'T KNOW IT YET

THE END

NOW GO EAT YOUR PANTS

CR-Axis (crak-SIS):SEXY FUN TIMES WITH HORNY JAPANby *XEPICTACOSx

Literature / Prose / Fiction / Children and Teen / Short Stories

SO HARD

I REALLY WENT OVERBOARD WIT DIS LOLOL

love 7 7

joy 3 3

~~wow 0 0~~

mad 1 1

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~PKMNTrainerFixc Mar 25, 2013

I MADE A SHIP CYCLE.

FRANCE FUCKED ENGLAND WHO FUCKED MERIICA WHO FUCKED JAPAN WHO FUCKED GREECE WHO FUCKED TURKEY WHO FUCKED ROMANO WHO FUCKED SPAIN WHO FUCKED HUNGARY WHO FUCKED AUSTRIA WHO FUCKED PRUSSIA WHO FUCKED GERMANY WHO FUCKED ITALY WHO GOT RAPED BY FRANCE.

*XEPICTACOSx Mar 26, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

WHOA BRO. WHOA. You're good at this e7e

~ScarletMoon-98 Jan 18, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

I got banged by America O.o

*XEPICTACOSx Jan 19, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

~Yasaijiru7 Dec 2, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

I have not read a crack fic in like for ever. Reading this it feels like a whight was lifted off of my shoulders so. Thank you sir and or ma'm!

*XEPICTACOSx Dec 2, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

i am a ma'am crack demon so your very welcome~ XD

~HetaliaIsAwsomesauce Nov 10, 2012

It's super inappropriate... But so so freakin funny!!!

~tokithuy Nov 2, 2012 Student Artist

lolololololololololololololollololololololololoololololololol XDD

pure hetalia crack XDD

horny japan

*XEPICTACOSx Nov 2, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

ohyes~

~tokithuy Nov 2, 2012 Student Artist

hurr durr derp-a-herp XDD

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CR-Axis (crak-SIS):SEXY FUN TIMES WITH HORNY JAPAN

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CR-Axis (crak-SIS):SEXY FUN TIMES WITH HORNY JAPANby *XEPICTACOSx

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